Bongo Drummers Deemed “Too Loud” for Benirras

In light of the sickening, downright disgusting and shameful decision by authorities in Ibiza to stop the hippy drummers at Benniras Beach on Sundays, here at the Dannykay Blog we would like to suggest some more “Gestapo” measures that the local authorities might employ to further limit fun and freedom on the island. Firstly, we would suggest an Oxygen tax, designed to suck the life out of any individual who intends partying for longer than 4 hours per day. This would decrease to 3 hours in August. Secondly a “free-loader” tax, that would target any person who enjoys their Ibiza holiday without reaching the minimum mandatory spend for tourists. A person will have to produce receipts at the airport on departure, that show a minimum spend of €200 per day in local council approved establishments. If they do not reach the minimum spend they will not be allowed to depart and must come back when minimum spend is reached. Thirdly, a sand castle tax for the erection of sand castles on beaches in Ibiza. Any child that intends building a sand castle must now pay a €2 fee for each and every sand castle erected, that must also not exceed permitted height and shape regulations. Any family that exceed regulations and/or build more than is paid for will receive a fine and have their sand castles knocked down. Castles decorated with sea shells or built on beaches with trendy beach bars will also incur extra charges.

The local council in San Joan are set to introduce new by-laws that will make drumming of bongo drums an illegal activity. The new by laws real home, should be in a Monty Python sketch. In all my years in Ibiza, I have never witnessed such a silly and draconian measure. Even in the dark days of Franco rule, such a measure would have been deemed fascist. The authorities say that noise pollution is the reason for the ban. The drums start at 7pm and stop after sunset, three to four hours tops, one day a week, maybe two. There is more noise coming from the hotels that populate the area as they belt out the Hokey Pokey and cabaret acts from 8pm to midnight, seven days a week. Somebody really needs to go on an intensive “cop on” course or be referred to a Psychiatrist for a mental evaluation……and its the not the weed smoking hippies that I refer too. Loosen up people of power in Ibiza, or else you are in danger of returning in the next life as a table! Just in case any of the people responsible for the above decision are reading this blog, I’m only joking about the Oxygen tax, (it would be very hard to implement). I thought this quote taken from the Ibiza Sun was very good.

First they came for the clubs, and I did not speak out-
Because I was not a clubber.
Then they came for the restaurateurs, and I did not speak out–
Because I was not a restaurateur.
Then they came for the hotels and bars, and I did not speak out–
Because I was not a hotelier or bar owner.
Then they came for me, a simple drummer, and there was no one left to speak for me. 

Martin Niemoller